Dysfunctional Family Feud
by ForeverTheTorturedRebel
Summary: Justin's day has now turned to hell. His car is broken and now to make things worse, he doesn't have any insurance to cover it up! But one day, Justin finds a solution to all of his problems by putting Heather, Owen, Eva and LeShawna on a game show with him so that he could help pay his car trouble away! The question is: Will they succeed or fall flat? Characters are in-character.
1. Chapter 1

**"Dysfunctional Family Feud"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I sure as heck don't own Family Feud. Nor do I own the Total Drama series. Just so you're thinking, this is not one of those romantic Justin/Heather fics, although it's posted like that. I promise, you wont be disappointed.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

This was hell. This wasn't any ordinary hell. But this was straight-up burnt like a pig hell. That is, if you're a male model adored by millions of fans and you have nothing with you but only your looks happen to be a very good example of what kind of hell he was now feeling right about now. That is the kind of hell that was named Justin. And at the Playa De Losers garage, something wrong was happening to his car.

"My car!" Justin exclaimed as he reacted like a bitchy diva, "What on earth did you do to my car?"

The guy who Justin was speaking to just happened to be his fat friend Owen.

"It was just an accident! I'm sorry!" Owen exclaimed, just reacting a bit weakly. Justin wasn't taking this kind of incident very well.

"An accident? H-how can this look like an accident when someone put a hole in my windshield? It's kinda like an elephant farted and blew glass all over the seats!" Justin replied as he looked right at the big gaping hole right through his windshield. Now his entire leather seats were now covered with shattered glass. "What in the heck even happened anyway?"

"I'm sorry, it's just that me, Duncan, D.J. and Geoff were playing football and somehow, I tried to catch it and somehow, it ended up crashing your windshield! You have to understand, it was only an accident!" Owen exclaimed a little bit scared-like.

"This doesn't even look like an accident to me! I need this windshield to get a good look at my beautiful image! Now I got no choice but to ride in my car with not a glance at my beautiful image smiling at me everywhere I go!" Justin reacted once again.

"Well, sure you can! You still have your car windows!" Owen exclaimed feeling a little relief from all this, but Justin was still losing it.

"Yes, Owen... I still have my car windows..." Justin said with a deep breath and then reacted again, "But what good is this gonna do without having every image of me just driving my car from the inside? I need every mirror and window just facing me! I don't want my looks to fade while I drive with no reason to look good! I don't to be like a dried baked potato roasting on a old man's chest!"

"But the good news is, at least your insurance will cover the damages, so I guess that you're in the clear, buddy!" Owen said to Justin as he patted the model right on the shoulder, but Justin turned right to anger.

"There's only one problem, Owen..." Justin said with his teeth gritting.

"Why's that, buddy?" Owen replied with a little smile.

"I don't frickin' have car insurance!" Justin exclaimed out of madness.

"Ouch, sorry to do that to you..." Owen replied, rubbing the back of his head in shame, "I promise, I'll make it up to you! I can get you whatever you want! I'll buy you ice cream, maybe a nice comic book to read, or perhaps even a nice comfortable massage that can soothe every ounce of your body!"

Justin somehow glared at him angrily for that massage part.

"Sorry, that came a little confusing to me..." Owen responded with an embarrassed tone.

"You know what? Don't even bother!" Justin snapped at Owen intentionally, "In fact, just never speak to me again..."

With that, Justin walked out of the garage, looking very steamed because of this situation between Justin and the broken windshield.

However, as he was opening the door with such force, Justin stood face-to-face with Heather.

"Hey, watch in the heck where you're going! What's your problem?" Heather shouted out to Justin, who still wasn't his narcissistic mood today.

"Try telling that to Owen..." Justin muttered grumpily to her as he proceeded on to his bedroom. Meanwhile, Heather glared right at Owen.

"What in the hell is his problem?" Heather spoke to the fatboy.

"He's angry at me because I accidentally smashed his windshield to his car with a football." Owen replied as he just felt sorry for himself.

"Well, it's his own fault. What a primadonna that guy is!" Heather said as she gestured to Justin far away.

"I know, but the problem is... he doesn't have any car insurance!" Owen exclaimed to Heather as he let out a shiver. "I got nothing to blame for myself!"

"I don't really feel you Owen, and so far, I don't really care..." Heather said with a crossing of the arms.

"I feel like I should really do something to win my respect back for him!" Owen responded with an alarming rate.

"Well, whatever you think of, just don't do it near me and anywhere towards me." Heather said as she shook her head in a negative way.

"I know. I'm gonna bake him a nice good cake and you're gonna help me!" Owen exclaimed as he pointed right to the Queen Bee.

"Uh, no... there's no way I'm gonna help you bake Justin a cake, because I know the first thing you're gonna plan to do is to just eat it up before we ever give it to him. I pass." Heather said as she started to walk away from the garage, but somehow, Owen grabbed her in the arm.

"I promise that won't happen. What does Justin prefer? Strawberry, Chocolate, Butterscotch?" Owen said as he was trying to give out Heather some suggestions.

"I said I don't want to help you, Owen!" Heather exclaimed angrily before the fatboy just ignored her on the spot.

"Chocolate it is! Let's go, Heather. We got baking to commence!" Owen said as he ran past her on his way to the kitchen. Heather tried to speak at the last moment, but it was just useless.

"I swear if that's a fart joke, I'm gonna kill myself!" Heather exclaimed to Owen far away, who probably didn't listen to what Owen had to say. But she just gave up and followed Owen's way to the kitchen, "No one ever frickin' listens to me..."

* * *

**The fun will commence on Chapter 2 next chapter. Sorry, if this fic looks random, but I hope it gets a kick out of you fans of Total Drama and Family Feud.**

**Until then, read, review and salud!**

***Toasts glass in the air and drinks it***


	2. Chapter 2

**"Dysfunctional Family Feud"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I sure as heck don't own Family Feud. Nor do I own the Total Drama series. Just so you're thinking, this is not one of those romantic Justin/Heather fics, although it's posted like that. I promise, you wont be disappointed.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Justin was busy taking a rest in his room, just trying to forget his best of his own destroyed car. It was the only thing that he could afford and now thanks to Owen's little football accident between him, D.J., Duncan and Geoff, it was ruined. So far for having the car parked when he was 17 just crushed. At least the rest of the car was okay on the outside, but on the inside, imagine having to drive a car where Justin's perfect ass could end up getting stabbed by shards of glass. It wasn't going down like that.

"This is just great..." Justin replied to himself as he looked right at his mirror which was just hanging on top of the ceiling. Weird how Justin got his own room in which it was nothing much but a row of mirrors all looking at him like being at a carnival full of mirrors, except it wasn't very much to be exact. "I just had to park my car to where the football just had to land. Why could've it been Alejandro's car instead? I can't stand that guy..."

But then, just for kicks, Justin grabbed the superball in which it was sitting on his bedpost and started bouncing up in the air and grabbing it, just to keep his thoughts going.

"What kind of woman would wanna dig a guy without any windshield to protect him?" Justin replied with another thought to mind, "It sure as hell ain't Heather. She's bitchy as she is. Maybe not Eva. She's a little more violent than Heather. Without my windshield to protect me, I'm gonna have stuff hit at me like a bug going 250. I'm too beautiful to have my face being crushed by the speed of sound!"

As Justin's thoughts came rolling in, right behind his bedroom door, Heather and Owen approached the door in which a few hours of cakebaking took his toll on both the fat boy and Queen Bee themselves. Owen was busy holding a delicious strawberry cake which said "Sorry For Destroying Your Car' in which he was gonna give to Justin. But he couldn't help but stare at the piece of cake just like a piece of dry wall. With Owen's eyes mesmerized, Heather looked right at him and snapped him out of it!

"Owen!" Heather shouted right to Owen as he suddenly came back to reality.

'Oh, um... sorry. I just can't help it! It's soooooo good!" Owen exclaimed as his mouth was already drooling at the sight of the strawberry cake.

"Owen, that cake isn't for you! It's for Justin and you have to give it to him!" Heather whispered angrily.

"But my stomach is making me want this cake so baaaaaad!" Owen cried a little as his urges kept covering his entire Canadian brain.

"I cannot believe I had to get sucked into this bromance crap..." Heather muttered to herself as without any time to spare, Heather knocked on Justin's door. The Male Model could definitely hear the sound from here.

"Owen, that better not be you. I already told you that I don't wanna talk to you, especially anyone!" Justin exclaimed out of pity as Heather's voice came up behind the door.

"Justin, it's frickin' Heather and I'm with Owen. God knows I didn't wanna do it!" Heather exclaimed tiredlessly as Justin yawned pitifully and started to grab the door handle and turn it.

Justin then opened the door to see Heather face-to-face with him, not to mention that Owen had to hide right behind Heather, knowing that he's too scared to even face his good-looking Hawaiian friend.

"What do you even want, Heather? Other than trying to look at my perfect abs and my brilliant face with such guilt?" Justin replied a little sarcastically.

"Like I would ever wanna look at your ugly face..." Heather said to him with a rolling of the eyes. And then she focused right on Owen, "Okay, Owen... give Justin your stupid little present to give him."

Nervously, Owen approached Justin with such shaky knees while he held the tray of cake behind him.

"Look, Owen... make it short, okay? Don't make me get wrinkles..." Justin replied a bit moodily to Owen as the fatboy gulped.

"Justin... I'm sorry for... *gulp*... wrecking your car." Owen gulped deathly before he finally decided to show Justin the delicious strawberry cake of apology, "In order to gain your respect back, I made you a cake."

"I didn't help in any way..." Heather replied as she filed her nails just to pass the time.

"So... here it is!" Owen exclaimed as he showed the cake of apology to Justin. Somehow, something was missing.

"Wow, a huge mirror-like tray with only a slice of cake. That's beautiful, just beautiful..." Justin said just acting like a bit of an angry sarcastic ass. Somehow, Heather knew that Owen had ate pretty much 95% percent of the strawberry cake.

"What?" Heather said feeling alarmed that Owen didn't pay attention to what Heather said about eating the cake before he would give it to Justin, "I said give him the cake, not kill the whole cake with your mouth!"

"Sorry, I got nervous! You don't know how hopeless I get when I smell strawberries!" Owen cried out to Heather a bit deathly.

"That's the last time I ever listen to you, Slowen! I'm outta here! What a waste of my cake-gulping time you just wasted me, Owen!" Heather spoke rudely to Owen as she left him right alone with Justin.

Without any thinking to do, Owen spoke right to Justin with a deep breath.

"Sooooo... like Strawberry Cream Cake?" Owen smiled a bit nervously, yet erratically to Justin.

Justin didn't respond. Except the only response Justin would get from Owen was a slam of the door to the fatboy's face.

"Okay, I guess I'll save you a piece then..." Owen said right behind the bedroom door and finally left, "This sucks. This is the only piece that's left and yet I'm supposed to save it for him. I'm such a cake addict..."

Knowing that the conversation was a waste of time, Justin decided to lay on his bed and continued his angered depression.

"Well, that was 5 minutes well lost..." Justin muttered to himself as he still looked right in the mirror, "That's just great. Owen nearly came close to giving me wrinkles. I can't believe that windshield cost me a good 15,000! Such expensive glass that it makes my teeth shine and now it's gone down the toilet. I wonder what's on TV..."

Being angry and bored, Justin turned on the TV with such frustration. Quite frankly, the screen displayed a game show of some sorts with a bald, heavy-set black man with a moustache was hosting. Basically, it was Justin's favorite game show, Family Feud. It was the final round and it was the "Fast Money" round.

_"Okay Kevin, I said name a holiday involved with gifts and you said... Valentine's Day. Okay, all you need is 15 or more points and you win! Survey says..."_

And then, a ding was heard in the television indicating that the guy got it right for his family, also indicating that they won it.

_"They done it! The Baker family won it! They're now walking away with $20,000 full of cash!"_

Somehow, hearing that amount of money, Justin's attention was suddenly clear right out of nowhere. Somehow, it was like fate just playing history with his mind, and he was getting used to it.

An idea just suddenly struck him right now. He had a broken $15,000 expensive windshield and so far, he experienced a game show in which $20,000 was the prize money. His idea was suddenly bright as his smile. The plan was simple:

He would have to enter the show just to pay off that broken windshield that Owen intentionally broke by accident! But there was one problem:

Justin needed a family. But the only members he could think of was perhaps his mother and his aunt from Italy. But they were too busy just drinking tea and making housework that they would hardly have any time to be on a game show. So knowing that this wasn't gonna be easy...

Justin had to make up his own family for a chance at the 20 grand. Without any moment to waste, Justin suddenly got out of bed and left his bedroom.

* * *

**Yep, you got that right, Justin's gotta make up his own family, but who'll will he recruit to pose as his family?**

**The next chapter shall come after you read, review and salud! *Toasts glass in the air and drinks***


	3. Chapter 3

**"Dysfunctional Family Feud"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I sure as heck don't own Family Feud. Nor do I own the Total Drama series. Just so you're thinking, this is not one of those romantic Justin/Heather fics, although it's posted like that. I promise, you wont be disappointed.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Justin somehow began to burst from the room and started to head downstairs, but unfortunately, his brain didn't do much thinking to begin with.

One of the steps forced Justin to tumble right down the stairs and right onto the floor, therefore bruising everything in sight. Although it didn't came close to the serious damage he suffered back on Total Drama Action. But that was definitely a bad fall nonetheless.

"Agh! I hate my life!" Justin screamed out a little in pain before he managed to hang on to the railings of the stairs therefore trying to get up the best that he possibly could. Luckily, he got up on his own two feet. But he managed to move like he was pretty much limping like a zombie.

He went outside to where Owen was taking right to Noah and sharing a cool drink.

"Owen!" Justin exclaimed as in the fatboy's mind, he almost sounded like he was pissed off at him, but he wasn't.

"Ack! Don't hurt me! I'm sorry if I ate the cake and I almost didn't save you a piece!" Owen squealed a bit as he squinted with his arms around his head, thinking that Justin was gonna rough him up (although he wouldn't like it since he was a model and had to look over his looks from time to time), but Justin had other plans.

"Owen, I would hardly ever do that. Besides, I don't want my perfect hands to be thrashed any further. Anyway, I'm here to tell you something." Justin replied.

"Okay... but if you want to thrash me, I just want you to know that I'm a weak bruiser!" Owen exclaimed as he was still feeling afraid that Justin would lie to him.

"Heck, I'd be willing to see that myself..." Noah snickered as he thought he wanted to see Justin and Owen fight. But Justin decided to just ignore the brainiac and focus right on his fat friend.

"Owen, I've been thinking about this little accident that you caused me..." Justin replied carefully as Owen tried not to squeal any further, "And I will be willing to do whatever it takes to forgive you."

"You are?" Owen said as he slowly started to quit squealing in fear.

"Yes, I'll be willing to forgive you if you do something for me." Justin nodded as this little treaty of his had an extra surprise.

"You gonna make Owen his pet Mexican? Because I know what you're capable of. He won't be a slave to you, anti-me." Noah said as he was a bit angry and upset at Justin, knowing the bad blood he shared with him after Total Drama Island was over.

"Yeah, nobody cares about you." Justin said right to Noah as he now focused on Owen, "Look, Owen. I want you to help me pay for my broken $15,000 windshield."

"How can a windshield be $15,000?" Owen replied with confusement.

"I don't really know. Chinese people gave it to me, okay?" Justin replied, "I'm willing to pay for the damages itself. From what I know, there's a game show I watch called Family Feud in which the winning family gets $20,000. You're familiar with that, right?"

"Oh, yeah... no, I really don't..." Owen replied feeling a little low.

"Okay, it's okay if you're not familiar with the game, even though you got a Lindsay-shaped IQ going inside your head." Justin replied as if he was insulting Owen but wasn't. "The truth is, I need right around four people that could pose as my family. You see, I would get my own family, but they're too busy to even pay attention to me or my fantastic abs."

"What are they doing?" Owen responded, just wanting to know what happened to Justin's family.

"They're busy gutting out snakes and smoking them. If they don't devenomize at the right time, they O.D." Justin responded as he continued on with the plan, "Now, I'm thinking of being the father. I'd have you as my wife, but I would feel pretty unattractive and ugly having to be near 296 pounds of drag."

"Oh, no... I really don't think of things like that, just so that we know." Owen said in correction.

"Good to know, because I've known how you react towards me, and I really am uncomfortable with that..." Justin blushed in embarrassment, but managed to shake it off very well. "Now you should be my younger brother. That way you'll be far away from me from the podium because of your heaving farts I have to prevent."

"Younger brother! Wow, I always wanted an younger brother! That way, he can look up to me!" Owen exclaimed as he suddenly hugged Justin to the point that his brilliant 12-pack abs was getting crushed. "We can play baseball, eat chili dogs, go to movies together, eat nachos, eat buffalo wings, learn how to bike-"

"Owen, you're gonna be my younger brother. I didn't say you can get one!" Justin exclaimed to him as Owen suddenly let him down sadly as the thought that the fatman wasn't getting a younger brother. But luckily for the Eye Candy, his ribs was stopped from crushing itself any further.

"Darn! Why isn't life fair...?" Owen pouted a bit.

"Look, life may not be fair, but having $20,000 in cold hard cash is. So, will you do it for me?" Justin said to Owen as if he was pleading to him, but he wasn't. Luckily, it didn't take too long for Owen to make up his mind.**  
**

"What the heck, I'll do it! And then I'll get the younger brother I always wanted! Wait till I tell Izzy!" Owen exclaimed happily as he ran inside the resort just like a doofus.

"Owen, I already told you, you can't have a- never mind..." Justin shouted to Owen far away, but knowing that he didn't listen, Justin decided to give up, "Now that Owen's already recruited to be my younger brother, I need to find someone who can pose as my daughter..."

"Why not yourself? You already act girly like it is." Noah snickered right to Justin, before the male model turned to the brainiac with a scowl.

"Nah, that couldn't be right." Justin responded right to the big-headed Noah, "I think you be more suited as my daughter. That way you scream like a schoolgirl every time someone hits you."

"I pass..." Noah replied tiredlessly as he was still sitting on the pool with a book to now read.

"I figured you were too girly to take on the role as daughter so... I'm gonna ask someone else." Justin replied as he left Noah's sight and went right inside the house.

"Heh, good... at least I don't have to put up being a girl for that wimpy little plan of his." Noah scoffed a bit as he took his eyes on his book.

But then all of a sudden, a football came flying by and smacked Noah right on the arm, which sent him over the brink and screamed.

"AGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! WHAT THE HELL?" Noah screamed girlishly before Geoff's voice suddenly came far away from him.

"SORRY, DUDE!" Geoff yelled right back to Noah, who was still feeling his arm in pain.

"I guess life really does hate me so..." Noah said to himself as he gritted his teeth angrily.

* * *

**Looks like it's recruiting time! Now that Owen has jumped on the bandwagon, will Justin get three other members to pose as his family? Will it actually work?**

**Find out on the next chapter after you read and review, my tiger-blooded warlocks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**"Dysfunctional Family Feud"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I sure as heck don't own Family Feud. Nor do I own the Total Drama series. Just so you're thinking, this is not one of those romantic Justin/Heather fics, although it's posted like that. I promise, you wont be disappointed.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Justin was now approaching the Playa De Losers gym in which he could see a muscular woman with a black ponytail and a purplish-blue outfit just lifting weights and doing pushups. To the Eye Candy, this could either be dangerous or a harness to safety.

"Okay, I'm gonna regret doing this, but here it comes..." Justin gulped a bit to himself as he opened the door real slowly.

This place must've been like a weightlifters heaven of some sort. Nothing but Bowflexes, Thigh masters and perhaps some of the biggest barbells Justin had ever seen. Heck those things could be thrown hard enough to kill a single weakling in his way if someone were to snap like a twig. At least Justin was as lean and strong like a stallion. His head wandered everywhere inside the gym until his eyes locked right on Eva herself. She was busy polishing the barbells.

Justin took this to hand and started undressing his shirt right off his body, hoping that his fading powers can at least work on Eva one bit. He then approached her with the greatest of ease.

"Hey, Eva. Glad to see you're still looking mighty beautiful as ever." Justin smiled right onto her. When Eva was looking right at him, she looked a bit angry at him, knowing that she wasn't going to be fooled by Justin's hotness anymore.

"Save your stupid girlyman powers for somebody else. Maybe try Owen. He still cares." Eva said a bit sarcastically to Justin, who just fumed a bit in anger deep inside. he knew it was hopeless that his mystical charm no longer worked on Eva. It did once on the Total Drama special, but now, not so much. The only girl who was still effected by his powers was Beth, and yet she still doesn't know that Justin was still using her as a pawn. After all, he only cared about his looks and nothing else.

"Eva, the only reason I'm here is because I want to ask you for help." Justin replied once more as Eva began to sit down and focused her eyes only on the bar and not the Eye Candy himself.

"Yeah, I can help you to get far away from me as possible." Eva said with a gritting of her teeth as her hands was right on the bar.

"Look, that's not really the point here. The reason I'm here is for a favor." Justin explained while Eva started to lift the bar.

And then one-by-one, Eva started to lift the bar furiously up and down while Justin continued talking to her, much to Eva's irritation.

"Look, I know you didn't know this, but my car got heavily damaged by a football. But get this, the football crashed into my windshield and shards of glass got right into my seats. So, now I cant drive with a windshield-less car. It cost $15,000 to fix. It's very rare and it shows my perfect image whenever I drive!" Justin said as he kept on talking, "Sure I can't see myself on the daytime, but in the nighttime, my image just smiles at me."

"So, what's... your... fricking point?" Eva said between each lift of the strengthened bar. Knowing that she felt a little irritated, she finally stopped lifting the bar and went to the mini cabinet in which she was preparing some sort of fitness shake. Justin just decided to blare out his whole plan to her.

"Eva, will you be on a game show with me?" Justin replied as Eva grabbed a case of strawberries, bananas, and what seems to be a case of dried spinach.

"That depends. What is it, Fear Factor? Wipeout? Because if it's some sort of couples edition, I'll pass." Eva replied as she put the strawberry, bananas and a couple of leaves of spinach and just shredded them out one by one. The shredding lasted a good several seconds as she kept talking, "But I'd be a master at Total Blackout. I can handle anything that crawls in the dark. One sight at that bastard and he's stomped like a frickin' fireant! But enough about me, what's this game show you'd be wanting me to enter?"

As soon as Eva started pouring down the whole entire cup of fruity goodness, Justin decided to let it out entirely.

"I hope this doesn't upset you Eva, but it's..." Justin said with a gulp as Eva started to drink her shake, "...Family Feud."

Hearing Justin's answer, Eva somehow spit her drink out. She soon put the cup down and in a matter of minutes, she turned to Justin...

...and just lifted him up in the air with the fabric of his shirt. She didn't look very pleased with what Justin offered her.

"Family Feud? Is this a sick joke? You want me to compete in some hippy-dippy game show like frickin' Family Feud?" Eva reacted angrily as her grip somehow gotten stronger. "What kind of sick joke you're playing on me?"

"It's not a joke! It's a favor!" Justin said as he could feel himself choking through Eva's strong grip. "And you're crushing my perfect neck! I need my neck to look smooth!"

"Well, looks like I'll make your neck bruised and battered!" Eva exclaimed as she somehow pushed Justin right into a seat as the rage-a-holic sat on his ribs. In addition, Eva saw the bar she was lifting and grabbed it, just so she could feel the bar about to close in on Justin's neck,  
"Now talk! What's this stupid plan of yours!"

Knowing that Justin didn't want to be choked by a weightlifting bar soon enough, Justin wen't fast.

"Okay okay, uh... I got a broken $15,000 windshield and if we go on Family Feud and win, we get $20,000 and I get myself a new windshield! I already got Owen on board as my younger brother and now I need someone to pose as if I had some sort of daughter! I'm making up a family, you see?" Justin exclaimed in panic.

"You'll have to do better than that!" Eva exclaimed angrily as the bar almost became inches away from choking, no, killing the life out of Justin.

"Okay, uh uh... I'll carry all your stuff for a week and I can even make you my slave! Just don't hurt me and my precious neck! It's so tender as a flank steak." Justin said, just crying for his life like a girl.

With those words, Eva stopped herself and put the bar right back, much to Justin's god-forsaken safety.

"You'll carry all my stuff? Even if it's dumbells, weights and my protein shakes?" Eva said with her hands crossed and an eyebrow raised.

"Yes, anything! Anything! Just get off my ribs, it's defenseless and fragile like my life is!" Justin said as if he pleaded for mercy. Hearing his mercy, Eva finally got off of him, much to his nightmarish luck.

"Well, you caught me in such a good mood as of now, I'll be on that show for you. But you keep the promise you gave to me, we got a deal." Eva said, sounding a little upset, but followed Justin's plan real nicely.

"Oh yes, yes! Anything to keep my beautiful body intact for another day!" Justin exclaimed with happiness as he finally left the gym, but not without turning to Eva. "Oh, and I'll keep the promise!"

"Whoop-de-frickin'-do..." Eva said with a rolling of her eyes as she got back to her weightlifting, "Now could you please leave? I got barbells to crush and weights to rack."

"Do what your heart desires, I guess." Justin said with a safe sigh as he finally left the sight of the gym, but turned back once more to finally face Eva, "Um, Eva... you wouldn't be objected to wear a wig wouldn't you?"

Hearing this, Eva suddenly threw a barbell right over Justin in which it hit the wall, just meters of missing him. Good thing he ducked just in time.

"Or maybe the ponytail you have would work..." Justin muttered nervously as he finally left her sight once and all. Heck, maybe for today as well, "Man, I'm gonna have a angry pissant as my daughter..."**  
**

* * *

**Now that Owen and Eva are suddenly on board, who will Justin find next to recruit for his made-up family?  
**

**The next chapter will be something else! Until then, read and review, science bitches! BA-FRICKIN-ZINGA!**


	5. Chapter 5

**"Dysfunctional Family Feud"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I sure as heck don't own Family Feud. Nor do I own the Total Drama series. Just so you're thinking, this is not one of those romantic Justin/Heather fics, although it's posted like that. I promise, you wont be disappointed.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

After he was just dusting himself off because of the turbulent encounter between himself and Eva, Justin was now on the search for the fourth member for his made-up family. So far, he was able to get Owen and Eva into his group, now all that Justin needed to do was to find number 4. Of course, he would still have one more to go after that, but he was somehow in a hurry.

"Okay, where am I gonna find one...?" Justin murmured to himself as he just wandered around the whole entire resort. "I need a huge fat grandma. One that's unattractive to me. At least one that I'm good looking then her."

Justin's head wandered all around before he suddenly saw a familiar pair of thick black legs just wobbling around back and forth in a Peg Bundy way. It seemed that the pair of legs connected to this heavy-set black woman happened to be LeShawna. Another idea came to the mind of Justin right about now. So he went right upstairs and right into LeShawna's room, in which she was reading a Source magazine with the cover of Lil' Wayne on it.

"Hey, LeShawna!" Justin exclaimed as his entrance suddenly spooked LeShawna.

"AGH!" LeShawna exclaimed in fright as she suddenly tumbled a bit like a weeble wobble and a turtle combined together. Basically, LeShawna managed to sit back up and focused right on Justin. She didn't look a little too happy being snuck up like that. "What the hell's yo problem trying to scare me like that? My heart almost gave out!"

"I'm terribly sorry about that, but it's so important to me!" Justin exclaimed a little bit out of panic, "Sorry, if I'm acting like this, it's just that I was at the gym and Eva's just sorta went apecrap all over me and I think I lost an ounce of body fat when he nearly strangled me to death! My beauty is not used to this kind of abuse!"

"Sorry to hear that, Justin! Can I get back to reading my magazine now?" LeShawna said a bit politely.

"In a minute. It'll only take a minute. I just need to ask you a favor." Justin said as he was speaking a bit quickly.

"You can't make this easy, can you...?" LeShawna said with a sigh as Justin told his whole story to LeShawna.

"You see it all started like this..." Justin said as a little flashback started in his head. The words he was saying was like a tale he was telling, "It all started in the bathroom and I was brushing my brilliant teeth. A guy's teeth is more clear and shiny just like my image is. Somehow, I was gonna brush my hair when suddenly I left in my car. So after I was done brushing my teeth, I had to rush to the garage to pick up my lost hairbrush, when Owen and the guys accidentally threw a football at my windshield, just shattering it all over my precious leather seats! I was so mad at Owen that I had to rush to my room, just thinking of the broken $15,000 windshield to my car!"

"Justin, why on earth would you spend $15,000 on a windshield? That's like a waste of good money there!" LeShawna exclaimed in a bit of surprise.

"It was the Chinese-ians idea to give me this car at a modeling expo! I swear they build the most wacky un-attractive gizmos I've ever seen!" Justin exclaimed a bit moodily when he continued his story, "Meanwhile, I was angrily thinking thoughts about me not getting insurance for my broken windshield when suddenly I had to watch Family Feud just to get my mind altogether! And then, I saw this family win $20,000! And I was thinking to myself, 'Why not just enter a game show just to pay off my damages'? So I now thought of this idea to get four people, besides yours truly, to enter on Family Feud just to win that $20,000. So far, I recruited Owen, he'll play my younger brother, and Eva's gonna play my moodily pissed off daughter. So now, I need a Grandma of some sort. Can I least interest you for the part?"

"Justin, I don't want to say anything about a plan being less retarded. But this plan is very very retarded." LeShawna replied with a nod. Justin understood at first, but then LeShawna happened to change her thought, "Since you're willing to pay for a $15,000 windshield, I guess I'll take in your offer. But isn't it weird that a well-built tanned model like yourself should have a black grandma?"

"Heh, good point. Well, tell him a soldier had a one night stand with you back at Vietnam War in 1973. Those producers should at least buy that." Justin replied.

"They might, huh?" LeShawna replied in thinking form, and then finally decided. "Okay, you got a deal. I'll be a part of your family."

"Huh, that sounded easy than I thought..." Justin replied as he finally shook off that conversation with LeShawna.

"Indeed. Just don't let your looks in the way, that's all." LeShawna replied as Justin nodded on his way out. As soon as he left, LeShawna wandered around and finally noticed her magazine just disappeared outta sight. "Okay, who in the gravy-coated hell took my magazine...?"

Knowing that there wasn't any source to respond, LeShawna just happened to blare out one name.

"Ezekiel...?"

"Oh, sorry, eh." Ezekiel replied as his arm just popped out under LeShawna's bed with a magazine rolled across his hand. He immediately gave it right to LeShawna.

"Thanks." LeShawna said to Zeke as she reclaimed her magazine and started to read on.

"Okay... now that's me, Owen, Eva and LeShawna... now all I need is a fifth member. Maybe a wife of some sorts..." Justin thought as he was now wandering across the halls of the resort again. As luck would have it in his mind, he heard a blowdryer come across his ears.

Curious to find out for himself, Justin looked across the bathroom door and saw Courtney just drying her precious brown hair. It was pretty much the same girl that Justin had a crush on during Total Drama Action when he was fighting for Duncan. Well, since Duncan's now with Gwen, Justin thought that this could be a great opportunity for Courtney to get on the rebound with someone who was more of a gentleman quite like the Eye Candy himself.

"Heh, this will be easy..." Justin chuckled a bit as he smoothed his hair back, opened the door and looked right at Courtney, "Hey, Courtney. How's it goin-"

"GET OOOOOOOOOUT!" Courtney shouted right at Justin as he blew the hairdryer close to Justin's eyes in a steaming mad fashion.

"OOOOOOOW! You nearly damaged by perfect and beautiful eye retinas! And I hardly asked you anything yet! AGH!" Justin yelped in pain as he shielded his own eyes and just left the bathroom.

His own body was being knocked back and forth like a Pong game, just having slammed hallway after hallway as his eyes was still blinded by Courtney's angry hairdryer.

"Why, oh why did I have to go in there? It frickin' burns!" Justin exclaimed as he slowly managed to go to his room and rest his eyes out for the time being, having his search for a made-up family halted, with no thanks to an angry and bossy C.I.T.**  
**

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**Ouch, now I definitely know what Justin feels right about now. Now that Owen, Eva and LeShawna are now recruited, who will fill the last spot in Justin's made up family? With that blowdryer attack, will Justin and his soon-to-be foursome manage to make it to Family Feud?  
**

**The next chapter will be revealed soon after you read and review! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!**


	6. Chapter 6

**"Dysfunctional Family Feud"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I sure as heck don't own Family Feud. Nor do I own the Total Drama series. Just so you're thinking, this is not one of those romantic Justin/Heather fics, although it's posted like that. I promise, you wont be disappointed.  
**

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**Chapter 6  
**

"Agh... my eyes! Why in the heck did it have to happen to my precious eyes?" Justin cried out in pain as he was holding a wet towel to his eyes after the hot air sorta steamed out his vision a bit while he was resting in bed.

Who knew approaching an angry Courtney with a hairdryer proved to be a huge mistake for Justin. His eyes nearly came close to being bloodshot. Heck, the blood might have came very close to appear among the skin, but Justin was lucky to having an ounce of blood splurt among his eyes.

"The guys at my modeling agency isn't gonna like this at all..." Justin muttered lowly as he looked a little weary. He continued holding the towel to his eyes when Heather suddenly barged in.

"Justin, how many times do I have to frickin' tell you? If you're gonna clean up after yourselves, you better learn how to clean up the mousse from those hot-and-cold handles!" Heather exclaimed a bit angrily to be exact. "I swear I can feel an ounce of your cream going right up my hands, and I can only tell you that it's disgusting for me!"

"Sorry Heather, what can I tell you? I can only focus on myself to care about other problems that involve my mousse." Justin replied as he managed to look right at Heather with an eye, despite his almost blurred vision.

"Well, I suggest you do a little less looking and a little more doing. So I would be appreciated if you can clean up at the bathroom. There's no way my hands are gonna be infested by soft foam!" Heather exclaimed in frustration.

Knowing that she didn't wanna hear her bitchiness any further, Justin managed to get up out of bed and threw away the towel, only managing to get his vision back a little bit.

"Fine..." Justin muttered as he soon left his room with Heather just following him with the towel that Justin was holding out his eyes to in pain.

"I want you to take the towel and rub off those mousse scrapings off those handles." Heather replied a bit angrily as she gave Justin the towel. "And I want you to do a good job too. I don't wanna have to come in and see more of your foamy crap floating around here."

"As long as your shouting doesn't hurt my ears. My perfect body's already taken a lot of verbal abuse lately..." Justin said with a rolling of his eyes as he started to take the towel and surge into hot water.

"That's all I ask for." Heather replied as she left the other bathroom, which left Justin to clean up the entire mousse.

But knowing that this was a waste of time, Justin decided he didn't want to do it so he just threw away the towel. But somehow, his idea just came to him once again. He still hasn't forgot that he needed a family to recruit just to get in Family Feud and win the prize money for his broken $15,000 windshield. That was his entire plan all along. So far, he had himself, Eva, LeShawna and Owen, but he needed one more. Maybe someone to play her wife.

Justin wanted to ask Courtney but he wouldn't wanna risk having his eyesight just damaged once again. He would have asked Gwen to be his wife, but she wouldn't be interested in a game show that seemed too much family friendly to her. Justin wouldn't even think of having Izzy as his wife, considering that she's hyped-up crazy all the time, so it wouldn't be worth it. Justin would have thought of choosing Bridgette, but she would spend too much of her time just playing 'suckface' with her boyfriend Geoff. And he wouldn't even think of having Sierra as his wife for the Family Feud, considering that she was waaaaay too crazier and psychotic than Izzy was. He had no choice about this.

He just had to go talk to Heather. So as she was about to head straight outside, Justin ran downstairs and stopped her at the right time.

"Heather wait. I need to talk to you." Justin replied.

"Well, that was fast. Did you do what I said?" Heather spoke to him once more as she raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah whatever, look I really need to ask you a favor." Justin nodded as he was about to explain.

"If you gonna brag to me about your precious hair or your shiny teeth, I'll make my eardrums bleed." Heather said in such a foul-less tone.

"Heather, I would likely talk about that, but it's not it. Look, it's just a favor." Justin replied with a deep breath, "Well, it's not really much more of a favor, but an offer of some sorts."

When Heather heard him say the word 'offer', she felt a little interested.

"I'm listening. It better be good." Heather replied as she crossed her arms.

"It is. Now, just in case you didn't know, I really got a broken $15,000 windshield, and I've been wanting to go on to Family Feud to get that $20,000 prize money." Justin explained a bit, "Now, so far... Owen's in, Eva's in, LeShawna's in, and I'm asking if you wanna take part in my made-up family. There's no twist and no joke included. What do you say?"

Hearing Justin's entire plan, Heather thought about this very well.

"That depends, what do I have to do?" Heather replied with a questioned shrug.

"My mind didn't wanna do this, but..." Justin replied to himself with another deep breath and then looked right at Heather, "Will you be my wife on that show?"

"Screw that!" Heather exclaimed as he blew his offer straight outta the water, but Justin persuaded her.

"No, Heather wait! I really need this! My precious body needs this! I don't have anything to go! I have no car insurance, my charm won't work on the ladies anymore, and I'm just a mere shell of myself ever since the entire series was over and done with! I need this opportunity, Heather!" Justin exclaimed as he was just begging for her to change her mind, "I'm just dying to get that money! This is my last chance to prove to myself that I can do things for a chance without damaging my good features! Please, I don't have a choice!"

"Good god Justin, grow up!" Heather exclaimed as she was growing frustrated of Justin's kid-like behavior, "You sound like a frickin' 9-year old girl trapped in a male model's body!"

"I'm sorry..." Justin said in such an embarrassed tone. "Look, if you can enter with me on the show, I promise I'll be your slave for a month. Heck, I'll even do your pedicures, manicures, anything you want! And you can have what's left of the prize money! Because you see, I still need $15,000 to pay off my most expensive windshield."

"Yeah yeah yeah, I get it. Owen already talked about it to me." Heather said as she shook it off, knowing that she had enough of Justin's pleading, the Queen Bee decided to change her mind instantly, "Look, if this means so much more to you... I'll accept being your wife for Family Feud."

"Really? Oh, thanks Heather! Even if we never see eye-to-eye with somebody! I knew I still trust in you!" Justin exclaimed more as he started to hug Heather, little does she know herself that she was startled.

"But let me clear something here..." Heather said as she broke off the hug for a bit, "Just because we're gonna be husband and wife, that doesn't mean you can just go around spreading rumors of us dating, it isn't gonna be like that. And if you even think of kissing me before, during and after the show right on the lips, the only thing you're gonna be kissing Justin, is gonna be your ass."

"Oh, I promise I won't do any of those things, Heather. You got my word!" Justin exclaimed once again.

"Fine. Now leave me the heck alone and stay out of my business..." Heather muttered out as she finally entered outside.

"YES!" Justin shouted in his mind happily as he was ecstatic that he finally rounded up a good family to recruit. It was now Owen, Eva, LeShawna, himself, and now Heather. This may actually work to his advantage. In his own reality, he kept celebrating like he won the World Series, "$20,000, here I come!"

Unfortunately, his mini-celebration was cut short when his toe got stubbed in a chair. Pretty unlucky for him indeed.

"Ow ow ow, stubbed toe!" Justin exclaimed as he was just hopping around in pain, just holding his stubbed toe. He then spoke to the heavens above, "Why did it have to happen to my excellent feet! Why must you be so harsh to me!?"

Despite being in pain, Justin was still relieved that he finally got himself a family, the only problem for him was...

...it wasn't gonna be easy.

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**Well, looks like Justin's got himself an entire family. What's gonna happen next chapter? Will his entire made-up family actually get along until they at least get on the show? Find out after you read, review and get stoned. SHA-BAZINGA!  
**


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